Question

How healthy is it to stay living in the same room as the person that just broke you heart because neither of you can live without the other?

going dark

hello readers
sorry its been so long
and i am sorry that this post is going to have plenty of typos but such is life
let me update you
I am single
and it hurts and its lonely
i have spent the better part of the last year in what i thought was the most amazing relationship of my life
i attempted to discuss a concern and came out single
you give all of yourself to another person and learn all of their ways only to find out that your not enough
its not enough

i dont know where to even start picking up the pieces of my shattered heart. it was like glass breaking

shattered
destroyed
broken

and everytime i try to pick up it all falls apart again
I love him
I dont know how to be without him
all i see are the soon to come lonely nights and all of my shortcomings
he was my balance
he filled the spaces where i lacked
listen to me
i am so afraid that i am never going to find that again that no other human being possess the qualities and love that he has
he just doesnt have it for me
i just want to run away
and then i get scared that i am never going to see him again
that i am never going to have those moments with anyone
that it will never be the same
i feel like my life is ending
everything i knew to be real is just a theatre set
fantasy
you go back though photos and watch your image fades out of them - like you were never there
its so real
and i dont want it

i feel empty
hurt
i am going to try to do the things that we had planned - dinners etc
but i think its just going to be awkward and hard to not be like it was
its like sitting back and watching your life happen
maybe he will still come to christmas so i dont feel alone
maybe he hurts as much as me
maybe he cant live without me either
but how do we live without

Too long

So, someone keeps telling me that I haven't updated in awhile. And shes right. What's more important is that I needed this as an outlet.

I need something new in my career. I am frustrated that there is no where for me to go. So I am looking into Grad School. I need to take my GRE's. And find out if I can get enough financial support to do this but if I can Yippeeee.

I am so thankful for the group of friends I have. You guys are so amazing. I don't really know what I did before you. I have this amazing guy in my life. He means everything to me.

Fake

The one thing I hate more than fashion faux pas..... FAKE PEOPLE

Those people that have made themselves your friends for whatever reason and then when they get into the circle that they want they drop you like a bad habit.

Well, I am glad you got what you wanted but I have no time for you or your falseness.

Word of advice, be careful who you use.

One day there was a girl. she loved walking in the rain. There was something very forgiving about the way it melted everything away. She would just lay in her room with all the lights off and listen to the drops talk to her.

As an only child there wasn't much to do living with her parents when they entertained quests. She always got put away in her room. She pretended that she was locked away in a tower and that one day a prince would come save her from this evil place.

Even at school she was on her own. She was in clubs and activities and sports but no one really connected with her.

As the summer came the parties got more frequent and she found herself without anything to do. She had played with all her toys listened to all her music and just couldn't stand it anymore so she snuck out. Right out the front door in fact. What she didn't realize was that the later it was, the more invisible to them she became. Down the stairs out the door and into the world where hopefully someone would notice her.

sadly it was late and no one was out.

Now alone sad and wet she started to make her way back to the house, inside to her room.

On the way in she noticed that there was boy entertaining some people. He caught a glimpse of her but payed no mind.

Who was he?

As she lay there listening to the rain she heard her door open and some one walk in. She looked up. It was him.

I couldn't help but notice you come in all soaked. Are you alright?

she blinked.

I'm fine, she finally said.

Birthday Wishes

As we approach September I figured I should update the wish list.

-I would like a new black north face or ems fleece size small with a zipper breast pocket.-

A party just for me

A vacation

A new job

A new tattoo

A SANCTUARY

surf board

wet suit

tiffany's

bikram yoga pass

I realize that some of this will require some planning but I really would like something special.

ugh

so I have been sick for awhile now and tomorrow I am having an ultra sound of my stomach. I am a bit nervous since so far they can't figure out what is wrong with me. And I can't eat or drink before hand so I am going to be starving tomorrow. Wish me luck

A List

Things I always wanted (or want now)

Tiffany Heart Bracelet (not the dangley one that everyone has but the one with the heart in the center

Cartier Love Bracelet ( it screws on) $4,700

A new coach tote for my trip.. its silver with a pink lining

a new tattoo

the silver bead bracelet from tiffany's and the venetian link bracelet

true religion jeans (or really just the perfect pair)

A new EMS or North Face fleece ( mines trashed)

surprises

A wii

thumb ring (left hand)

Thats all for now. I might have more for you today after I get rid of the last of my stuff. Wish me luck.

Well, Hello there.

Let's talk about leggings.

Just because your leggings have painted on stitching does not make them pants. I don't care how great your body is this is just a no.

In other news: Has anyone been jeans shopping lately? The rises are so low that these jeans are indecent. I want a pair of jeans that fits perfectly but does not show my crack. Anyone with suggestions?

I am excited to announce the addition of the denim rack to Portsmouth. This could be the answer to my prayers. We will see.

When life throws you lemons

You make lemonade, right? What if life throws you fake plastic lemons? Then what do you do? Well, readers, that's about where I am right now.

I am stressed out. Everything has gone wrong today. I fried my phone by accident. It's really sad but it's like a lifeline. I am lost without it. I really need to find a way to constructively use this talent of mine to make me some more money. I have a roommate who I think, is going to put me out on my ass. My "job" is slapping me in the face. I am at a loss for what to do here folks.

Everyone is so positive that everything will work out and be fine, everyone, that is except me. I just need to take it all in and sit down and cry just for tonight. I think Mr Jameson will listen to me. So if you want any of my stuff, let me know. I think I am going to be selling/ parting with a lot.

Thanks for listening

ps- more fashion to come asap. No more whining - love you guys

Ok Time to purge

Alright guys, this is going to be a bit random. It's that time of year again to dive into those closets and get rid of the things you don't wear or need anymore.

1. Extra pjs for the ex. Let's face it thats done. It's time for them to go.

2. Cute tees that you wore when you were younger. You're not really going to wear them again.

3. Super fashions that last a season. They bombed for a reason. Let them go.

4. Those items that you were going to fix and keep. If you haven't fixed them yet you're not going to find the time. Say good-bye.

5. Anything that no long resembles what it once was. If it's that beat up put it out of its misery.

6. All those promotional tees you have. They were cute for the moment.

7. Anything unflattering. You may need a second opinion on some of these. Find someone trusted and let them do their worst.

Sunshine and Palm Trees

I am going to be taking a little vacation. Yippeee!

Let's discuss what and how to pack for a resort get away.

1. bathing suits

2. 3 way convertible dress, evening dress, sun dress, skirt

3. Khaki shorts and a slightly oversize white button up match with pretty sandals

4. beach flip flops, cute heels

5. one set of workout clothes and sneakers

6. denim shorts and a denim mini

7. a bunch of tanks tops and one v neck tee

8. underware and bras

9. sunglasses

10. toiletries

That should be everything you need to look cute and fabulous while packing light.