ok hi I am sure no one is reading this now but I need to vent somewhere. I have had yet another employee quit. I can't help but wonder is it me? Did I do something? I have been working this job for years. I think I am good and fair boss. I don't know I don't know. But something has got to change I can not work another month with only two days off. I am losing all sense of self. I need time to do things at home. In other news HE is deployed. And I sit and wait for my 58 day sentence to end. I am so happy. I love him so much. I am so excited to see what life brings us.

The last thing you remember is me walking away

Cause you will never get me back You've lost everything you had And not the slightest bit of me Feels a little bad You're really not that worth it I won't even shed a tear I deserve so much better And I'm seeing things more clear I can't believe you pulled this stunt I wish we never met There is no turning back My mind's already set Honestly...You're Dead To Me You're Not Half The Man You Used To Be And Now All That I Can See Is A Sad Man With No Dignity

How did I get here

Well here it is. I've moved. Can't say that this is what I want but this is my life now and I have to figure out how to live it. So I'm writing you (instead of unpacking) pardon the typos, I'm on my phone.
And he's never going to see or feel what I did.
And now I have to figure out the friendly.....
I can't do it the way it was, let's face it I don't know how to stop doing it but I have to try. I wish I was so busy my head was spinning, but I'm not. I'm alone on my floor starring at my stuff and wondering how I got here. I'm sure suddenly there will be fewer social events.
Dear heart, let him go, move on. (problem other men disgust me and no one lives up to the standard)
Too bad this is really just the beginning of the healing.
Maybe someday he will get it.
Most likely not
So scatter

Question

How healthy is it to stay living in the same room as the person that just broke you heart because neither of you can live without the other?

going dark

hello readers
sorry its been so long
and i am sorry that this post is going to have plenty of typos but such is life
let me update you
I am single
and it hurts and its lonely
i have spent the better part of the last year in what i thought was the most amazing relationship of my life
i attempted to discuss a concern and came out single
you give all of yourself to another person and learn all of their ways only to find out that your not enough
its not enough

i dont know where to even start picking up the pieces of my shattered heart. it was like glass breaking

shattered
destroyed
broken

and everytime i try to pick up it all falls apart again
I love him
I dont know how to be without him
all i see are the soon to come lonely nights and all of my shortcomings
he was my balance
he filled the spaces where i lacked
listen to me
i am so afraid that i am never going to find that again that no other human being possess the qualities and love that he has
he just doesnt have it for me
i just want to run away
and then i get scared that i am never going to see him again
that i am never going to have those moments with anyone
that it will never be the same
i feel like my life is ending
everything i knew to be real is just a theatre set
fantasy
you go back though photos and watch your image fades out of them - like you were never there
its so real
and i dont want it

i feel empty
hurt
i am going to try to do the things that we had planned - dinners etc
but i think its just going to be awkward and hard to not be like it was
its like sitting back and watching your life happen
maybe he will still come to christmas so i dont feel alone
maybe he hurts as much as me
maybe he cant live without me either
but how do we live without

Too long

So, someone keeps telling me that I haven't updated in awhile. And shes right. What's more important is that I needed this as an outlet.

I need something new in my career. I am frustrated that there is no where for me to go. So I am looking into Grad School. I need to take my GRE's. And find out if I can get enough financial support to do this but if I can Yippeeee.

I am so thankful for the group of friends I have. You guys are so amazing. I don't really know what I did before you. I have this amazing guy in my life. He means everything to me.

Fake

The one thing I hate more than fashion faux pas..... FAKE PEOPLE

Those people that have made themselves your friends for whatever reason and then when they get into the circle that they want they drop you like a bad habit.

Well, I am glad you got what you wanted but I have no time for you or your falseness.

Word of advice, be careful who you use.